About This Guide: This weekly groups guide, “The Bread of Life,” is designed as a companion to our Lent 2022 teaching series, fostering discussion, study, and prayer, especially in a group setting. Join a group for a meaningful way to connect to our community.
Secrets of the secret place
Teaching Text: Matthew 6:1-18
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Themes
Consider these themes and ask your group what else they see in the passage:
integrity of private and public life
Presence
Take a moment of silence and think about these questions:
This is a version of the five-step Daily Examen that St. Ignatius practiced.
Locate yourself in God’s presence. He is with you. Give thanks for God’s great love for you.
Pray for the grace to notice and understand how God is acting in your life.
Review your day — recall specific moments, highs and lows, and your feelings at the time.
Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? Celebrate and repent for those moments.
Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with God’s plan. Be specific, and conclude with the “Our Father.”
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
Formation
Thoughts and notes you can use for discussion:
Opening talking points:
How are you tempted to earn the admiration, appreciation, or love of others?
How do you feel when you love, serve or help someone and they do not acknowledge your effort or respond in thanks?
Do you feel the pressure of our society to be constantly thinking of how you are perceived?
PRAYER with our words and listening and silence and fasting (praying with the body)
AND JESUS says an important aspect of that life is learning to have a part of it happen in hiddenness.
But why would Jesus need to mention this so many times? At each turn keep reminding us that we aren’t performing for one another but learning to love and be loved by God.
Because we love to show off.
C.S. LEWIS writes about this in THE WEIGHT OF GLORY that this relational instinct is connected to our future promise in God.
One of the promises of the life with Jesus is getting to the end and the Heavenly Father saying over your life “WELL DONE” THAT WAS GOOD AND TRUE TO WHAT YOU WERE GIVEN…
I read in a periodical the other day that the fundamental thing is how we think of God. By God Himself, it is not! How God thinks of us is not only more important but infinitely more important. Indeed, how we think of Him is of no importance except in so far as it is related to how He thinks of us. It is written that we shall “stand before” Him, shall appear, shall be inspected. The promise of glory is the promise, almost incredible and only possible by the work of Christ, that some of us, that any of us who really chooses, shall actually survive that examination, shall find approval, shall please God. To please God...to be a real ingredient in the divine happiness...to be loved by God, not merely pitied, but delighted in as an artist delights in his work or a father in a son—it seems impossible, a weight or burden of glory which our thoughts can hardly sustain. But so it is. —C.S. Lewis
Non-performative intimacy is a deep need of the human soul
That’s part of what JESUS says it’s so dangerous if you build a life on pretending.
Alain De Botton in his book Status Anxiety gives some language to the inner struggle we have…
Our “ego” or self-conception could be pictured as a leaking balloon, forever requiring the helium of external love to remain inflated, and forever vulnerable to the smallest pinpricks of neglect. There is something at once sobering and absurd in the extent to which we are lifted by the attention of others, and sunk by their disregard. Our mood may blacken because a colleague greets us distractedly or the telephone calls go unreturned. And we are capable of thinking life worth living because someone remembers our name or sends us a fruit basket… The attention of others matters to us because we are afflicted by a congenial uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. —Alain De Botton
Jesus comes along and says.
Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others
When you give - don’t let your right hand know what your left is doing
When you pray go into the closet, don’t speak to impress, pray simply
When you fast don’t tell anyone or try to look beat down.
The power of hiddenness
JESUS KNEW - even before Instagram and 24-hour news cycles that: In the world of curated image management, a life of private devotion has tremendous power
How well do you balance the curation of your public image with the cultivation of your private practices?
Do you have a space in your life where you practice uninterrupted attentiveness towards God? That is how you spill over into uninterrupted attentiveness towards others.
It is inherent in personality to be able to know other personalities, but full knowledge of one personality by another cannot be achieved in one encounter. It is only after long and loving [interaction] that the full possibilities of both can be explored… God is a Person, and in the deep of His mighty nature He thinks, wills, enjoys, feels, loves, desires and suffers as any other person may. In making Himself known to us He stays by the familiar pattern of personality. He communicates with us through the avenues of our minds, our wills and our emotions. The continuous and unembarrassed interchange of love and thought between God and the soul of the redeemed man is the throbbing heart of New Testament religion. —AW Tozer
Jesus is teaching us to learn to speak our true hearts to God and if we don’t know where to start he gives us a place.
The Lords Prayer: Jesus is teaching us to see God at the heart of our generosity - this person with a need isn’t just showing us a need, They are showing us God.
Mother Teresa - We don’t sever the poor because they are like Jesus, but because they are Jesus
The mature of motive and reward. Jesus is saying that the outward action is not the only thing to consider in our lives. And of course not. But it can be the easiest part to fake or pretend or curate.
Why are we praying, giving, fasting? You might ask how am I curating my public image?
Jesus is teaching on…
The goodness of the action - to give, to pray, to fast
The recognition of others - to be seen and appreciated (which is understandable)
The reward of God - now and later
When you put God in the center none of the three are lost:
still have the goodness of the action
your motives are lifted up from mere performance for others
you have the joy having God present in the moment and the future
Jesus is telling us… build a secret life with God
There is so much joy in a secret non-performative life with God
There is tremendous power in relationships where we can stop pretending
When you see need, you see God - that doesn’t lessen you love for the person you are giving to at all. It grows it
the persons need its present
God is present
When you pray, you seek God
find a private place - this can be a challenge in NYC
pray the LORD’s Prayer
cultivate a robust life in prayer with God
Talking and listening
when you fast, you are nourished by God
we are trying this on Wed and you are welcome to join us
practice praying with your body
saying I am hungry for you God
NT Wright says of the Sermon on the Mount… We could suggest that a title for the whole Sermon might be, ‘What it means to call God “father.”
It means we live in a loving ongoing communication
It means we see our world and neighbor through a God lens
It means the sacrifices we have to make are made in love - rather than fear or pride
Love
Read these notes and discuss the questions below:
With no one knowing what you would do…
Who can you intercede/pray for in the secret place this week?
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness [1] will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I. —Isaiah 58
The heart of fasting as a follower of Jesus is to give up something good to seek something greater, God and God’s Kingdom. Though it is certainly a good idea, when we give up something that is already damaging or sinful, that is not exactly fasting. That is repentance.
Every Wednesday during Lent We are inviting us to fast together as a church. From sunrise to sundown on Wed. Or skip lunch. Give during fasting times.
The biblical record of fasting primarily involves willingly giving up food for a period of time as a response to a grievous sacred moment in life. This could be anything from death, sin, fear, threat, need, sickness, period of preparation, or time of seasonal renewal such as Lent. We respond to these moments with fasting.
So let’s Fast on Wednesday. When we fast we pray with our bodies. We say and demonstrate that we are hungry for God. We fast as an expression of love.
Pray for one another in the group.
